The First Day

The First Day

The day has come for meandering change

One step away from the mental health daze

A fog that conspired to hurt and detract

Away from the path laid bare in its act.

The feeling of nothing, anhedonia its name,

A long cast shadow with no hint of pleasure, just pain.

Nothing was good in the life that I was, just wallowing in self-pity and waiting for God

The decisions, the heartbreak, the pain I have caused

Is still a reality, and one of my many flaws

But out of the flames, the Phoenix will rise

The bold, beautiful colours, will steely determination as eyes

They see only now, not then, not when

They will not look back to my worst back then

Nor think that the future is someone I am not

The present, you see, is truly a gift we’ve all got

A reality check is due, with no fingers to point

An understanding of what a diagnosis can smear

A life of dystopia from ridicule and jeer

The journey is not at its end, I do feel

But success will herald by the end of my year

One day at a time, no worry, no fear

To strive is to grow and from there untold,

Like Benjamin Button, I won’t fear growing old

The days gone by are empty, and told

The future uncertain, of this, is no doubt

Present is here, each day a new gift

To heal what is broken, from here and within

Stronger and stronger the mind will become

Until I find solace, be at peace and at one.

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