Well, here we are. It seems like an age since I posted but for the record, I haven’t forgotten to, I just have been taking time out for myself. As selfish as this seems, it has been overdue and a change is needed.
If I look back over the time I have been writing, I can say that I have had a focus on what it is I have wanted to work towards. The next move is possibly the most productive aspect that I have had in my life so far. I have looked into meditation, woke up early, tried to introduce habits into my life, eat, drink and sleep better. Change is afoot, although not an exhaustive list, it is one that has many more facets that I have already spoken about and will undoubtedly speak of again as I move to the transition phase of my life.
Currently, I am seeing a Psychotherapist to help overcome the issues I have had in my life and although nowhere near where I would like to be, quiet confidence is growing. Expanding in the knowledge that I know what it is I have to do, done and realised. A unique person is within all of us. But we have to be brave to find them even if it means I few home truths have to be heard.
A change in direction
What is needed is the very thing we all remain on – the same direction on the compass. We never veer from it as it wouldn’t be deemed the socially acceptable thing to do, would it? We should welcome change.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
With this quote, I bring a sense of order. Not in the logical sense but more a ‘fuck you!’ to what has been holding me back all this time. Forget all of the trauma, abuse, alcohol, bankruptcy, relationship woes, death et.al, this is nothing new to the world. For one thing, we all go through shit and not mention it to others, but that is not to say it doesn’t serve us well. Secondly, who really gives a shit anyway?
The shift in the belief that there is something better for me is a real one. I don’t like this self-pity that has consumed me over the years and I will set about transforming the way I look, feel, act and live. Not just for me, but to all who know me, and all who will know me in the future.
The person that I am is not a nice one. Not the real deal and not the ‘authentic self’ that evades me. Others will view this differently but inside I know. The shelter that has housed me for so long now needs to be shifted in whatever capacity this means, and by whatever steps necessary.
What is the change needed? It is more than that. A complete overhaul. A remake, a transition call it what you will. But I am tired of being the person that haunts me and this requires a change in all it’s glory to achieve the goals I want to set myself.
Change doesn’t worry or faze me. In fact, it has been a part of my life for the most part. Job, house, career, girlfriend, attitude, location. However, one thing that does not serve me, is staying in a position in life that society believes you should.
The medication you take, the job you hold dear, the place you live all contributes to societal acceptance. But what happens if the person breaks this cycle? Who do they become? What happens if the acceptance of others is not what you need?
Being true to yourself is has more value than we give credit for. Self-esteem, in my opinion, is so undervalued that we have become a nation of people pleaser’s in some way or another. Whether it be through work, friends, Facebook, Instagram, etc, we just don’t focus on ourselves for fear of becoming self-obsessed or narcissistic.
The Importance of Change
Change in any aspect of life can be difficult. Or, is it what we fear from the change that stops us? Is it the anxiety, self-doubt or guilt the keeps us on the straight and narrow? For me, it helps you to grow and to overcome what stops you. The mind seems to play all sorts of tricks on you and it is believed that we are doomed if we change. But, we are not.
It can be subtle or it can be drastic but you can do it. We all can. Even a tiny step in a different direction is changing. Maybe we just don’t notice how it can positively impact upon us, due to the values instilled from childhood. Nevertheless, it is a journey that you, and only you, can follow as it belongs to you.
The suggestion of changing is just that and will be decided by you.
The transitional process
As mentioned earlier, I have trialed numerous aspects to improve my outlook and focus on life. From my 49th birthday on the 27th July, I am taking a transitional journey for 365 days to see where it takes me. Over this time I will be expanding on the changes I have already made such as alcohol, meditation, and exercise. Along the way, I aim to introduce changes to further my journey which includes new learnings, eating, exercise, nature, and self-love/care. A trip to remember who I can be, and not who I am programmed to be.
It promises to be a journey of change, self-discovery, and improvement in my life; I want you to be a part of it. If I fail in aspects of it, then so what? I try again. If I get things wrong, I learn and move on, not dwelling on the ifs and buts. The journey will seem long at times and indeed, a lonely event, but one that I am most certainly ready for.
Areas of consideration
After months of talking about it, the time is here to explore what can be achieved. This is no different from other’s who have decided to do this, but it is exclusive to me. The areas I am exploring as part of this experiment are:
- psychotherapy and counselling
- clean eating
- mindset meditation
- friends and family
- support group
- planning for the future
- write a book
A piece of advice, perhaps?
To be so strong that nothing
can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel
that there is something in them
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only the best, to work only for the best,
and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past
and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words but great deeds.
To live in faith that the whole world is on your side
so long as you are true to the best that is in you.”
I am looking forward to being the change I want people to see. It would be great if you come along and enjoy the ride with me. If not, that’s cool, you have your own priorities which are to be respected. But check in now and again?
Have your say: join my private Facebook group, The Silent Man, today.