“The splendid thing about falling apart silently…is that you can start over as many times as you like.”
What is self-love?
Self-love….what does it mean for you? If you look at the dictionary.com definition and break it down, it equates to this:
Self – a person’s nature, character (nouns), his better self
Love – a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person (noun)
The first thing here is to understand what it’s saying to you. For me, what we should take from this are a person’s nature and a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, and turn it all around to this:
My nature is one of a tender, passionate affection for self and others.
We as individuals tend to provide everyone else the love that we don’t give to ourselves. This may lead us to wait for others to recognise who we are, and in doing this forgetting that we matter too. Keiichiro Hirano gives a clear indication of how we can feel like humans in his talk that he delivers.
On a personal note, I have never been comfortable with how I look or how I behave and I have used the face of alcohol to mask the real me. The real me was a person that I didn’t like. But a lot of people did. I have made many friends over time and I am sure, a number of enemies too. But, why didn’t I like myself? I always used to think that I was too small, had a big nose, crooked teeth, was not as good looking as my friends but I’m sure we all feel this, right?
As I have become a little wiser with age and accepting of who I am (well, trying to at least!), it doesn’t matter what is happening in my life – it doesn’t make me a bad person. Nor a person who can’t be loved – especially by himself.
I understand the concept of ‘loving yourself’ can be misinterpreted by many as being narcissistic. However, in Greek mythology, Narcissus was in love with how he looked and ignored the advances of Echo, a nymph who was hopelessly in love with him. This is extreme but what we are talking about is the self-esteem that we as people, tend to relinquish.
The majority of us are not narcissistic – far from it. In fact, I would go as far to say that we don’t love ourselves enough. As Keiichiro suggests, we should take responsibility for loving ourselves as the world can damn us into thinking we are not good enough, or not worthy.
One of the major hurdles we face when feeling down is looking at everybody else’s fantastic life on social media. But maybe we should appreciate that the people who are on Instagram looking gorgeous and perfect, may well spend a serious amount of time getting themselves ready before a camera wheeze into action! This would allow us to think that they are more likely to be average looking as they need the time to get ready! Not everyone of course, but you understand what I mean.
Social media is just that, media! Images that are presented to advertise either themselves or a product. It isn’t real. Images that make people unhappy with the way they actually are. There are many in the public eye that has fallen to depression and one can assume that this may be down to them getting older, and competing with a younger more beautiful face. Well, my friend, you can’t beat Father Time, I’m afraid.
Learning To Love Me
I have suffered from this, wishing I was living someone else’s life and had their good looks. But I recently decided that I couldn’t be someone I’m not. I want to start loving myself and that is what I am going to do. Some of you may recoil in horror and say ‘I can’t!’…
Well, STOP! (I know some of you are dying to shout ‘hammer time!). Take a look at yourself and see what your conscious tells you. I mean, stay there and look, really look at the person you are. Strip back whatever worries you, and start to see the person from a carte blanche perspective.
It is OK to start over. Please do not be afraid to see the real you, warts’n’all. After all, you are a one in 400 trillion person. No matter what your mind is telling you when you are down, you are not that person. There is a shining star inside that is just waiting for you to give it the green light to shine. But, it starts with you!
Unfortunately, I cannot hold your hand in this pursuit of happiness. But one thing I can do is give you an idea. An idea that you can believe in yourself more and more each day. However, be warned that it is not an overnight fix. My suggestion is this – you need to focus on what you can do for yourself and forget everyone and everything else! I understand this may be hard but this is one way to start. Start with this:
Don’t be put off. If you don’t want to buy the book, you can always look on the internet for information on the Law of Attraction. It works for many people so why not us?
The only thing I am doing to encourage self-love from this is the creation of my own vision board. What is it? A collection of images that include words depicting the wishes and goals of a person. To give you an idea, mine is below. You may think there is nothing worthy of note on it but fear not, it is designed for me to see the beauty in me!
The idea is to remind yourself all the time of what you want in your life. So in the example above, I want to feel good in supporting people and being kind to others and have lots of smiles. This will be a focus for me to help me feel good about myself. I am a great believer in everything coming from within you, so don’t give up. The one small thing I am asking for is 1000 followers in the creativity section – So what I wishing for is the number of people to follow my blog and when it reaches the milestone, I will change it.
The beauty of this is the fluidity of it. You can change it to suit you. But remember, this is about self-love. To help you feel better about yourself, to look after you and become the best version you can be!
I guess you can relate now to the top of the post and ‘start over as many times as you like!’
Have your say: join my private Facebook group, The Silent Man, today.