Looking back over the last couple of weeks, I have been a total waste of space! I have been quiet on The Silent Man and with good reason – I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t write, think or action myself to complete the tasks that you need to. An excuse to have a little time off hasn’t really worked. But, I think that stopping and taking stock of things is needed from time to time. Mental health, or more appropriate, depression and anxiety are an invisible and damaging force.
Trying to force yourself out of your mindset is difficult. What I mean is that no matter how great you may feel now, there is always a chance that you can go back to negative feelings which impact upon you. If you have been reading this blog, you will know that I have all sorts of good intentions and ideas to make my life more palatable for me.
Currently, this includes being more positive, eating better, not drinking etc – all the normal stuff you associate with being healthy, for both your mind and body. Yes, I did say that there would be ups and downs but I am so pissed off with the way things have gone so far!
Where does it go?
People will think of this as ‘he needs time management’; ‘organization’; ‘focus’ – yep, agreed. But what if you think so much that your ideas get lost in the abyss of your head? Time for me is a pain in the arse. There never seems to be enough of it but I also understand the concept that it isn’t real. It’s just something that we, as humans, have been conditioned to understand.
We are rushed. In work, in social environments, TV schedules, you name it, we adhere to it. Does this mean that our mind operates according to our perception of time? All of the ideas running around in my head are constant. With the feeling of ‘I MUST!’ prominent in my mind, I never see a lot of thoughts or plans come to fruition.
Getting in the way
When you look at it, life invariably gets in the way. There are always demands that are placed upon us in whatever position we find ourselves on a daily basis. But at what time do we stop enjoying life? Where does the unhappiness come from and why does it linger?
We all know someone that is happy all of the time but are they really? I know a lovely woman who was always smiling, laughing and joking but underneath it all, she was hiding the depression that had taken over her life. How sad that this can happen when there is so much we can be thankful for?
Life does overtake you. It consumes you with its power created by others. We seem to be a society of self-perpetuating beings whose lust for the material things keeps growing and growing. The majority of us are guilty of this, am sure. Moreover, we place ourselves into such a position that it is impossible to remove ourselves from so is the guilt of our own making?
It is mental!!
My mental health is a pain
My own mental health suffers as a result of time overtaking me. An outrageous statement, don’t you think? When the completion of tasks is delayed or even re-worked to the nth time, it makes me feel as though I cannot cope.
You can see the scenario? The above is a picture of me and my mental health, whereby it sends me into a panic when I can’t get things right (picture is courtesy of medium.com). The weight of frustration that I cannot keep all of the plates spinning in unison, is probably how many people feel on a daily basis.
Mental Health in 2001, affected 1 in 4 people, according to the World Health Organisation (WHO). Surely this ratio has increased over the last eighteen years? Mel Robbins stated on her Ted Talk that a third of Americans are unhappy with their lives – a massive 100,000,000 people!! That statistic is just for America. Imagine what it is like as a collective across the globe.
This isn’t meant to help descend us into depression moreover, a wake-up call that we as a race, need to help each other. This help can come in many shapes and forms and does not necessarily involve money.
What good will it do?
We all know about how we can reset ourselves in a physical sense but what about mentally? For me, the two go hand in hand as the better you look, the better you feel?
I understand this. Fighting every day with myself to be a better person, to love others properly and to live by the values I believe in. This can fail. I can fail all of the time and as part of this year-long process, I need to reset myself completely. The decisions I have to make, the choices and direction are all part of the plan for me to enjoy the second half of my life.
It is good for me to re-evaluate my life goals. They belong to me and I am the master of the plan. The all-encompassing plan with which, I will reach my goals. Not easy I know, but you know what your limits are.
But why have limits? Are they not just boundaries that we feel we cannot cross? Or challenges that we can overcome? What limits us is the failure to believe in ourselves and our ability. We have far much more than we realize and the thought process we employ is outdated. We are not our thoughts, and as Darth Vader said to Luke Skywalker ‘your thoughts betray you’. A subliminal message perhaps, but one nevertheless we should grasp with both hands.
To compound this further, I met with a psychotherapist yesterday. A man named Walter. A gentle giant of a man from Zimbabwe, and one who has experienced life at its worst. But he gave me some advice yesterday that I can pass onto you. He said ‘you cannot help anyone else unless you help yourself first’.
Walter then gave me a list of values to employ in my life and to start to live by. They are these:
Walter stated that we should live by these values when we meet and talk with people, and we should expect them to do the same.
For the record ‘equanimity’ means to remain calm in a storm
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