Who Is In Charge?

Who Is In Charge?

A thought occurred to me before when looking at a magazine. Who is in charge of us? For all the goings on in our lives, what makes us take the decisions we do? The effect our decisions impact on our mental health can be massive.


The Voices

The voice inside our head

It seems to be that there are many voices that we rely on when managing on a daily basis. The loud one, the unsure one, the definitive one, the crazy one, the sane one…..all of which have some sort of added value in a way. But it is not surprising to feel a little disorganised when you think about all of the information that our brains compute on a daily basis.



Shahilla Barok speaks of us having about 50 – 70 thousand thoughts per day. That is amazing considering that I can not get everything done that I need to for the time I finish work! As the image above depicts grains of sand falling through a man’s hand, is it really conceivable that we have so many thoughts, and we still fuck up??

Controlling these thoughts is more exhaustive than we give credit for. Managing them positively is even more difficult. I mean, how can you have so many thoughts during the day, and not become perplexed with them all. No matter how we plan or organise our day, the thoughts we have can be more powerful that it disrupts us. This can possibly make us feel inadequate through not being able to manage them.

Time for change

Positive thinking

While at the support group today, we were given an exercise to complete to help us with our attitude. The process involved writing out the letters of my christian name, and use words to describe each of the letter of my name:

S – Supportive

T – Tenacious

E – Enthusiastic

P – Productive

H – Helpful

E – Energising

N – Noble

The Breakdown

Too harsh on yourself

The words I have used were the first ones that came into my head and to be honest, I can safely say that I feel uncomfortable with every one of them. If I break it down it seems a little worse. But it shouldn’t. Being supportive for others is something that used to come natural to me. But how can I be supportive when I need support myself? The rush of thoughts that come into your mind when trying to help somebody else with mental health problems is not fair. The time spent should be dedicated to them.

Be your change

Tenacity is something I can be grateful for as I am. I am determined in becoming a better person, with a better job, with more and more and more. The problem I have is that I can be as tenacious as the next person but it disappears when things are not going well, and my mental health is affected. It makes me feel fake at times, a kind of fraud.

Being enthused is a great thing but difficult if you are suffering with your mental health. How can you pretend to be enthusiastic when things are difficult? However, it shouldn’t be discounted as I believe it is possible to be enthusiastic, even if it is just a tiny bit. Maybe being a little enthusiastic about the small things can lead to being happier about the bigger ones?

Productive and helpful can be a great quality for you to have, and if you can demonstrate this to others, it would put you in a good light. I don’t feel as though you need this in abundance, however. Even being a little bit helpful to someone else can make you feel good but we always seem to forget to be helpful to ourselves.



Having the ability to promote self-care is brilliant. Putting it into practice can be more difficult. But for us to see any worth in ourselves, we need to help ourselves too! There are many tips on the internet and I have research some myself but if I am truthful, I have found it difficult to maintain a level of consistency.

How do we energise ourselves? For me, I like to be out in nature and the fresh air as it makes me realise that I am fortunate to have what I have, and live where I do. It doesn’t cost me anything to go outdoors for a brisk walk nor to take a little ‘power-nap‘ from time to time. Although I do feel guilty at times for doing this!

To deem yourself noble is good. You are good as you have shown courage to try and tackle your mental health. Even with small steps along the way, coupled with setbacks, you will show courage everyday. Even when you don’t realise it.



What does success mean to you?

Small steps may help


Everyday you pull yourself out of bed, or have a shower. This is a success, and shows determination and courage in my opinion. Yes, there are days when we just cannot be bothered or we feel as though we can’t cope but to be honest, the future belongs to us and the sooner we can comprehend this, it may become a little easier each day.

So, from the exercise I have tried, why don’t you do the same? Write your first name (in full), and next to each letter of it, write a positive word. If it doesn’t come to you right away, that’s ok. Try and think of these positive words from across your life, not just more recently.

There are twenty six letters in the alphabet, and from that, thousands of words have been produced – that didn’t happen over night either.



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