22nd April – 28th April

22nd April – 28th April


There has not been a lot of activity in this section recently and with good reason. Thinking about the next stage of my life, I thought it best to write a diary to reflect what is happening during this period. So, the analogy is, that my existence is split into three stages; the first half, half-time and second-half.

Metaphorically speaking, I have performed dreadfully during the first half of my life and have reached half-time well beaten, but still standing. Currently at half-time and restructuring my tactics, so I can perform better in the second half!


The process

Keeping a weekly diary is the plan. This can help to breakdown all my thoughts and feelings that will inspire or hold me back. It will be split into daily occurrences and hopefully demonstrate that all of the activities that I include in my life, will help to improve my mental state and wellbeing for the better. Although this is what I intend, the structure may change as I continue along this journey of change.




My day was spent thinking about how I was going to plan this change. Over the last few months, I have been attempting to find a variety of ways I can improve my well-being. Looking at yoga, meditation, exercise, diet, and general lifestyle changes – these have been attempted since January this year. But what does this include?

  • Sleep – aiming for at least seven hours per night
  • Hydration – I need it, more of it – 2.5 litres a day
  • Diet – try to import a more clean diet into my body (Matcha green tea, organic food etc)
  • Exercise – walking, hiking, Ultimate Dad Transformation,  yoga, cycling.
  • Lifestyle – Wim Hof Method , doing more of the things I like, family time, The Law of Attraction.

In light of these suggestions, I decided to make use of the bank holiday and went for a walk along the canal. The weather was warm and overcast, with the sun breaking through at times. The kind of day for the beer garden instead of using my legs to transport me to one pointless destination to another! But being determined, I used this time to think my strategy out and put one foot in front of the other, and walked.

The walk itself was great! Quiet and full of sounds you attribute to nature giving me the chance to think. Not to ruminate, but to take stock and plan to live again. Being at one with nature is massively under-rated in my opinion and it was nice to be out there. However, there are drawbacks.

Even though I had thought the journey out, I didn’t plan for my own nature! Needing a number one and two when out in public, isn’t the best experience. Holding a number two in at an age where I should know better, is a skill I mastered today. If they were auditioning me for a role in ‘Thunderbirds’, I would’ve smashed it!

Eight miles later, I arrived back home, feeling good about the accomplishment. Starting with my own nature, I started to recover with a hot and then cold shower.





After the events of yesterday, I woke up late. Wanting to get up at 06.30 and managing 8 a.m. is not the best start. So this put pay to my ‘miracle morning routine‘.

But, I managed to have my Matcha tea, and 1 litre of water (need 2 but am just starting out).

At the support group, Hope Street, I enjoyed some Reiki healing and thought up more of what I would like to do with the silent man – raising awareness, counselling and Reiki. And from a wellbeing perspective, looking into the possibility of owning a caravan or lodge in the country.


Feeling down

Woke today feeling like shite. The feeling of being knackered, agitated and tetchy pissed me off, and it never helped when not sticking to the routine I had created for the morning. Feeling analysed by AJ, I went to work in a grump!

I think I need more strategy to the blog, and how it is going to operate, but this will happen gradually.

Music is always good for me. I heard a song on the radio which took me back to a carefree time, and it brought me back into the right frame of mind again (Gloria Estefan – Anything for You) – pure cheese!

Also, starting to notice numbers regularly…15:15, 16:16 and 96.


Crazy thoughts

Clearing the thoughts of what a psychic once told me – I have a daughter. I don’t, but the thought came to me out of the blue so I looked up how I could find out if I had one. The crazy world of the silent man!

My mood today was low and not sure why. Numbers today were 16:16, 03:14 (the time when SJ was born)

Tonight I was the guest speaker at Hope Street (Liverpool) which went well. I created a hive of conversation afterwards which was really pleasing. However, afterwards AJ asked how I felt and honestly, I didn’t have any feeling about it – joyless, which is sad.


A sense of emptiness

Feeling down today. I haven’t done anything other than work and relax after the escapades of Monday. Am I getting too old for all of this?

Received a phone call to go to my friends to watch the match which we did – it was good to get out and be with friends.



I had a lazy day with SJ and we watched TV re-runs which was quality time with him. Furthermore, we watch a movie later on which perked me up a bit and was called ‘This Is The End’ starring Seth Rogan. I think that laughing definitely improves your wellbeing.

AJ wasn’t feeling well today so I put her to bed to rest which I hope will help.


We go again

Up early today and looking forward to watching the three hour Avengers movie. Feeling better than I have of late and am more positive moving towards what I want to do – although being paid on Friday always helps. Again, the wellbeing aspect is always good.

AJ is back in the room and feeling herself again (not literally!) – I’m happy as there is nothing worse when you can’t help someone feel better in themselves, improving their wellbeing..


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