The feelings of today are good. Enthused by the recent weather we have had and the good feeling that this can bring. However, the feelings of rage that have engulfed me have been overtaking my thought process.
The fact that I have had to work at the weekend isn’t great, but to have an argument which basically stated that I’m not a fit father to SJ is quite disturbing. I discussed the prospect of me working with SJ last week so it should have been a relatively straight forward process to inform mum. Nope. Not at all. In fact, it was a text war that resulted in respect from both sides is lost. But there are two sides to every story and I suppose the bottom line is to move on and forget.
After the long period of being away from work, I’ve returned and thoroughly enjoying it. I know that I’ve said it before but the people I work with are truly brilliant! Always ready to lend a hand if needed, and offering support is also natural to them.
But here we are in work at the weekend, supporting people less fortunate than myself. This is a pleasure. I know that I should be at home but empathy has but left me in recent times. From now though, I am realising that the position I am in and the majority of others too, we are blessed to lead the life we do.
The enjoyment over my life has been shall we say, not to its full potential. But as I approach the second half of my life, I want to overcome the horrors of the past and accept my life for what it is – a gift. So I will need to understand what makes me tick and work towards repairing my life, so I can appreciate everything that comes my way.
A couple of things which have noticeably improved are these:
My relationships with AJ and the boys, my work, and my love of football. This is all good, of course. But there are a number of things I want to introduce into my life and as I come into the final year of my forties, the year will be laying the plans for the enjoyment of all things that can happen.
I guess the future is looking better than what it was for the previous years……..
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