The sigh cries across the room and you hear the words ‘I wish I was like him!’.
The guy who has everything. The beautiful wife, children, house, job, a career to dream of, a home straight from CRIBS and what have we got? A three bed semi on an old council estate! But why should this anguish us? I mean, the thought of rattling around a house the size of a local town, while sounds appealing, I don’t think the cord on my Henry will reach all the way when tidying up!
However, I do understand the romance of it all but the reality for all of us is this – we have what we do at this moment in time until we want it enough to change. So how much do you want to change in your life? What boundaries are you setting yourself? More importantly, why?
The boundaries are the limiting fences that surround us as men, as humans. The thought that if we cross these boundaries we will become a lost soul who should have known better. But the boundaries that I have are just invisible barriers that should be extended or even removed. This is not to say that I want to rage against societal beliefs as I don’t.
We know as a society we are conditioned to behave in a certain way. Have the nice house, get married, be a dutiful husband, an excellent father but at what point, I wonder, does all this remove ourselves from being who we are? A look at yourself from the inside out should tell you all you need to know.
The inner voice when it talks to you, you should listen to it. It is my experience that has taught me at this age now, it is never too late to change who you want to be, in whatever form that comes in. When you reach a certain age, this becomes quickly into a mid-life crisis. So many of us realise that we shouldn’t be in the relationship we have or the job we want, or we need the flash car to prove to others that we still have ‘got it!’, or even go to Thailand to ‘find’ourselves.
While the above may be true for some, for the rest of us, I feel it is a wake-up call to remind us that we can achieve things at any stage of life. OK, at the age of nearly fifty, I can safely say that I won’t be a footballer but you know what I mean.
The wonderful Mel Robbins completed a presentation which struck a chord with me. We are all believers that we cannot achieve the things we want. Take the simplest of decisions…..there seems to a mass debate in our minds about what can and will go wrong. A task that comes up with questions and possibilities the length of the Bayeux Tapestry! (seventy metres long if you’re interested).
In reality, all we need to do is open our mouths and talk. Why is this so difficult? As Mel discovered the odds of us being born as ‘us’, is a staggering 1 in 400,000,000,000!
Everything that makes us unique is our biggest strength. But we are powerless to see it or believe it either. Or are we? The brain that we have been blessed with for the large part, is an amazing piece of kit that we don’t fully understand its capabilities. Imagine if we did. Our physiology is breathtaking and the communication skills that we all have (some more than others) are amazing in their own way!
You look different to everyone else on the planet, in a good way. There are exceptions of course. However, the feelings of not good enough or I wish I was……will fall on deaf ears, I suspect. My feeling is that we are all too busy looking at what everyone else is like that we tend not to see the beauty we house in ourselves.
I always wanted to be someone I’m not, nor could ever be. Honestly? I don’t know why this was but it always seemed so appealing to be ‘in their shoes’. But the reality is this….you do not know what they are going through in their lives – it might be one hundred million times more difficult that you can imagine.
I look in the mirror at times and wonder if I were more handsome, or I didn’t have receding hair or wishing I was taller – all the pains you should go through in your teens; but I feel as I am getting older, I am getting stronger mentally.
Recognising that for all my flaws, there is a good man in there somewhere and I am going to find him! People can see this elusive being, but the fact remains that when you are covered with the stigma of mental health, you are an easy target. Not just for others, but more so yourself.
You can believe what you are told from your mind, and the slide down the unassailable ladder is quick if you listen. A mind is a powerful tool and it should be nurtured wisely and to your advantage. But how easy is this to achieve? It is incredibly difficult.
You Are You
You look in the mirror and the face that stares back does not understand how amazing they actually are. The fact that the face is like no other, whether it’s beautiful or otherwise, it is unique. The body you inhabit is yours to shape the way you want to and it can function perfectly, based on what you feed it.
The ideas that spring to mind are yours and the opportunities that you allow yourself to be open to, are yours. Your choice to be good or bad is, in fact, yours, and yours alone. Never forget that the change is always within you, no matter how difficult it seems, it will get easier. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health but it is all too easy to forget this.
A Massive Audience
In a world that is full to the approximate of seven billion people, you stand alone on a pedestal of uniqueness! Mel uses the ‘F’ word to describe how 100 million Americans describe themselves when asked. But please remember this when you say the ‘F’ word…….
Fabulous – you are unique, amazing and full of ideas you don’t even know yet!
Incredible – independent of everyone else – don’t be a sheep!
Negotiate – do not negotiate with your mind – tell it what you need, and go and get it!
Extraordinary – you are unique and there is only one of you!
Be a shining star!
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