Arguing using the past

Arguing using the past

One of the problems we as men face when having an argument with the significant other (SO) is they have the gift of memory. They never seem to forget the argument about socks in 1945 and why they didn’t match the shirt, but they cannot remember when you told them you were going for a pint with your mates a week on Saturday. It’s as if they have a knack for knowledge about the most ridiculous of things. But how does this fit into our daily lives and the arguments that ensue? 


The fuel for the fire


When arguing, the tendency is to use the most bizarre aspects of viewpoints that we possess, and use it against each other which then turns into a slanging match to which the other person responds to gain the advantage over the other.


While in the normal confines of an argument, men would suggest that this is normal, however, why is it that partners throw in an incident which hurt them from the past? For example, there is no reason for her to state that she is upset from me talking to another woman at a party we attended last month, to tell me she felt threatened.


It has no place in the current discussion. It is as if they lose ground and then resort to underhanded tactics to win the futile argument, which could be as important as ‘what is the plan for dinner tonight?’ 


With the scenario in question, how does it make you feel when quizzed relentlessly over the woman at the party? Even though you answered the questions at the time, it now doesn’t seem as though the answers you gave were enough. Is it fair?

Controlling the burning rage

I cannot argue when it is like this. I tend to shut off as the discussion will tend to gain various strands to which I cannot keep track of and as not to leave myself wide open, I tend to try and close the argument for another day. 


I know that I will get even angrier and want to shout and scream if it carries on and for what? For the SO to become upset, accuse me of being horrible and me having to apologise for something she started in the first place? Sometimes I just don’t get it!




How would you feel if this happened to you?


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